yes, i would love to hold

i feel like some days i spend the better part of my in office hours holding my phone to my face...not actually talking...but rather listening to the smooth sounds of the hold button. which to be quiet honest, gets on my nerves. when did we decide as a society that we would accept a 15 minute hold? when did we decide that it was ok to schedule 30 minutes of time to have a 30 second conversation? and better yet, when did we decide that other people were so unimportant that we show no remorse for stealing valuable minutes of their life so that we can fiddle fart around and warm up to the idea of picking up the phone and listening to their concern? clearly, i do not find this amusing.
i recently made 4 different phone calls to talk to one person who then told me they were not really sure who i should talk to. mind you, these 4 calls took nearly 8 hours. with each call i repeated the same pattern: dial, listen to menu, choose a department, wait in line once i was transferred to the department, say hello to someone i don't understand, share my concern, hear a long pause, then be told i was not calling the right place. (repeat times 4...however, the 4th try ends with 'well i don't know who handles that.')
is it my imagination or did i at one part in my life make a phone call, talk to a human who was sincerely helpful, hold for 1 minute in the event that that human needed to transfer me to another human, resolve an issue, hang up? i feel in my heart that this used to happen. and you know what, it was wonderful. i used to think that people cared about other individuals, that people listened to concerns, and that people cared enough about their jobs that they wanted to do it to the best of their ability.
now i know that there are a few phone warriors out there who take their jobs seriously and work hard to make people happy. i know this, i just don't know them personally. so for now i reckon i will continue to hold. continue to stew. and continue to share my concerns over and over and over until someone hears my southern english and responds in kind.

have you got a reindeer up your butt?

gosh, i hope not. this quote from Ouiser (steel magnolias) always cracks me up. and on numerous occasions i have wanted to belt it out...but being a proper southern lady i have thought better of it.
where, you ask, have i felt as if i have come in contact with individuals suffering from a painful reindeer probe? well...the mall of course, joann's fabrics, target, kirkland's, world market...i could go on forever. these places seem to bring out the best in christmas sales and at the same time the worst in christmas behavior.
saturday, i decided to take a trip around town to seek out some bargains. i was not christmas shopping, mind you, i was selfish shopping. home furnishings and up to date decor. what better time to redecorate then when the store is on sale! however, i noticed right away that others were not as jovial as i was, nor were they as relaxed. they were on a mission and i was an unfortunate road block. i was preventing people from getting the keurig they needed becasue i was lolly gagging in the k-cups department searching out an awesome new flavor. i was directly interfering with people's ability to get the best christmas ornament ever because i was in no hurry to find both me and my parents a new home 2010 ornament. i was blocking the road when i couldn't decide which beer should complete my mix and match 6 pack and for goodness sake all they wanted was 40 bottles of the angry elf seasonal. needless to say...i was not making anyone's season brighter.
well, naturally, i decided to play up my good fortune. while i was feeling so jolly i decided to see how may people i could irritate just by being myself. the response was overwhelming. i was disliked in a real way, a pain in a major way, and just generally in the way. but i did find an adorable throw for the new sofa, an upholstery fabric (that didn't make me twitch) for the accent chair, and some new tervis tumblers that will be a wonderful addidion to my k-cup filled mornings.
all in all a shopping success. for me at least. and i hope that other people were able to make it through the day with all the wrapping paper, bows, wii games, and $3 dvd's they could handle. i mean after all isn't that what christmas is all about?