when i was your age

often, when i observe the youth i work with i think to myself "that would have never happened when i was your age..." and you know what, a lot of the times i'm right. here are a few specific things that would not have had the opportunity to be a part of my adolescent/teenage life:
sexting
beiber fever
gas strikes
school uniforms
googling
facebook stalking
identity theft
(I could go on for a while)
i think often that i would love to be a teen again, then i think about it agian. some of the things that are common today leave me shocked and appalled. i couldn't hack it as a teenager. there are too many distractions, perils, and connections. i would be in a constant state of sensory overload and most likely would be a terror for my parents.
i'm thankful that i am of a simpler time...a time when:
michael jackson was the undisputed king of pop
bangs were stylish...not the sound a gun makes
vanilla ice did not flip houses
screech was not a porn star
hybrid what?
columbine scared the poop out of everyone
the jetson's was a possibility
malls were all indoors
riding a bike with a helmet was optional (but a good idea)
booster seat graduation happened at 4 y.o.
the heartland series was standard morning programing
the mickey mouse club was cool
mouseketeer britney had no children
m&m's melted in your mouth not in your hands (and they came in 2 flavors only and did not rap)
the list goes on...
i hope you, like me, will enjoy remembering the simplicity of your youth and i also hope you will join the coalition to bring some things back. have family game night, eat dinner together at the table, make up dances to steller MJ tunes, listen to britney's first album, and go a whole night without a text message. you may just enjoy it.

i only want what i can't have...

this is true in all aspects of my life.
i want to work only when i feel like it
i want to have a brand new house that i design completely and decorate to my tastes
i want a range rover (have i ever mentioned i work at a church)
i want to go to Europe and not come back until i feel like it
i want an antique Chris-Craft runabout with a triple cockpit
i want to marry Offficer Fleck from CSI:NY (that could happen)
i only want chick-fil-a on Sunday
needless to say i want ridiculious stuff. there really is no end to the stuff i want. the list could go on and on. the reality is...it ain't happening. not right now at least.
now, don't be confused. this is not a complaint. it is merely an observation on my part. an observation that reminded me that most people want what they don't or can't have. why is that? why do we constantly feel that stuff will validate us and that we'll be happier when we get everything we want?
this is silly. stuff won't make you or me happier. it won't make you or me feel more special or important. all it does is create a new list of more. more to maintain, more to clean, more to pack, more to catch up on, more to pay for, more more more.
it was after i realized that my life would be none the more complete that i decided to quit my bellyaching. i should be glad i don't have tons of clothes...as of now i get dressed quickly. i should be glad i don't have chick-fil-a as a sunday option...my pants would get tighter. i should be glad i'm not married to Officer Fleck...his job is terribly dangerous. (ok that was a stretch.
there is noting wrong with my home...it's jsut right for me. there is nothing wrong with having to go to work everyday...i like the interaction. there is nothing wrong with having less...it just means i have to be more resourceful. plus, if i had everything i ever wanted what would i put on my wish list? and isn't wishing half the fun?
so from now on i am going to start wishing for things that really make a difference. i'm going to stop obsessing over things that are currently out of reach. i'm going to be more appreciative of the tons of blessings i do have. and i'm now going to hope for a tall, dark, and handsome man to worry about all of that on my behalf...sounds perfect.

hi ho hi ho it's off to blog i go

whistle whistle hum hum hanging out with dwarfs. (i sang that intro in case you are wondering. i know you were.)
so why sing a modified disney song when i should have better things to do? welp, honestly, because my mind is so consumed with this current thought that working for real would be unproductive. here's the thought...why in the world does any one person, family, organization, or animal need more than one or maybe two blogs?! like for real, what do you possibly have going on in your life that you need 3 or more platforms on which to share your story?! AND do you think that anyone else who lives and operates in the real world has time to read all your tidbits?! sheesh.
currently any one person, place, group, or thing can share the rather intimate and immediate details of everyday life on about 1 gatrillion forms of social networking sites. you can update your facebook status, you can tweet your peeps, you can sell yourself on linkdin, you can text those you like the most, you can be a loser and participate in the myspace community, and you can blog a little ditty. well, i think that if you are doing all of the above (or even most of the above) you're lame. i say that with all sincerity and no apologies.
i recently came across a blogger with 4 or more current blogs. that's right slackers, 4+. (and your one blog is 6 weeks outdated, loser) but back on topic, 4+ blogs. 4 different ways to share the personal details of their everyday life...which i will add is not that unusual or thrilling. now i know someone is reading this and calling me a "nice" name, but oh well. i can't help but feel that when you are blogging at least 4 times per day you have lost sight of what is really important. things like: taking a walk, curling your eyelashes, dusting the high shelves, going to work (haha right), practicing your curve ball, or taking time to treasure up moments in your heart. novel idea i know. and this is just one observation about one platform. do you honeslty think that a cumpulsive blogger would avoid other social media? not a chance.
when did our lives become a spectacle for the public? when did we become so self-centered and needy as a society that we prompt other people to read and comment about us in order to feel special?! and most importantly, why would you whore out your family, friends, and activities for other peoples entertainment?!
now, i know, pot calling the kettle black (here i am blogging about blogging). but NOPE, you're wrong about me. i try hard to keep my private life private. i try hard keep my relationships meaningful and personal. and i strive to remember that my life is only as valuable as the lives that i am moving in and among. my actions need no flashing light and i need not be paid for doing the things that i love and choose. (strike that...i love and chose work and i would prefer they continue to pay me.) basically, what i'm saying is, i enjoy just being here. actually, i love it so much that i seldom have time to blog about how cool or busy i am, because i'm too busy actually being cool.
so, bloggers, may you concentrate your thoughts. may you cherish the little moments quietly in your heart. may you know that you are not deserving of special attention. and may you get a job, a hobby, or a journal in order to stop creating a virtural spectacle of yourself.

have you got a reindeer up your butt?

gosh, i hope not. this quote from Ouiser (steel magnolias) always cracks me up. and on numerous occasions i have wanted to belt it out...but being a proper southern lady i have thought better of it.
where, you ask, have i felt as if i have come in contact with individuals suffering from a painful reindeer probe? well...the mall of course, joann's fabrics, target, kirkland's, world market...i could go on forever. these places seem to bring out the best in christmas sales and at the same time the worst in christmas behavior.
saturday, i decided to take a trip around town to seek out some bargains. i was not christmas shopping, mind you, i was selfish shopping. home furnishings and up to date decor. what better time to redecorate then when the store is on sale! however, i noticed right away that others were not as jovial as i was, nor were they as relaxed. they were on a mission and i was an unfortunate road block. i was preventing people from getting the keurig they needed becasue i was lolly gagging in the k-cups department searching out an awesome new flavor. i was directly interfering with people's ability to get the best christmas ornament ever because i was in no hurry to find both me and my parents a new home 2010 ornament. i was blocking the road when i couldn't decide which beer should complete my mix and match 6 pack and for goodness sake all they wanted was 40 bottles of the angry elf seasonal. needless to say...i was not making anyone's season brighter.
well, naturally, i decided to play up my good fortune. while i was feeling so jolly i decided to see how may people i could irritate just by being myself. the response was overwhelming. i was disliked in a real way, a pain in a major way, and just generally in the way. but i did find an adorable throw for the new sofa, an upholstery fabric (that didn't make me twitch) for the accent chair, and some new tervis tumblers that will be a wonderful addidion to my k-cup filled mornings.
all in all a shopping success. for me at least. and i hope that other people were able to make it through the day with all the wrapping paper, bows, wii games, and $3 dvd's they could handle. i mean after all isn't that what christmas is all about?

please sit still

i know this will sound so hateful, but i do not care.
please, parents, demand good behavior of your children. you are in charge (or so i thought).
it is so exhausting to go to dinner (like i just did) and fight to talk to the people at the table with you because a little boy insists on driving his hot wheel car (complete with sound effects) around the back of the booth we share. he was an adorable little boy. but he was rude. now i know that children are impulsive and that they really only know what is right and wrong based on what they have been taught. so, i can only assume that his parents had not told him that it is inappropriate to drive your hot wheels truck on a strangers seat. and even more i can only assume that he does not know that to eat your dinner you have to be facing your table. and even more than that i can only assume that his parents were not taught these things either seeing as how they were unalarmed by this display of disruptive behavior.
now i'm not trying to be a scrooge. i love children. i work with and for children. i want to see kids grow and learn and flourish. however, just because i love kids and work with them does not mean that i am capable of brushing off bad behavior as a phase, exploration, or creativity. these excuses are just that, excuses. and specifically they are excuses that parents make for failing to control their offspring and that is not the offsprings fault. i'll explain.
in my house, as a kid, i believed in my heart that my mom and dad were in charge. i believed that if i acted a fool then i would have to answer for that behavior and it could only end badly for me. i also believed that i better be good or santa would withold gifts. (fair threat...i was a saint for most of november and december without fail). now, i must add, my parents did not practice the art of spanking. a swat on the hand was about the bulk of physical touble. that said, i still behaved. not 100% of the time, but enough that i typically avoided run-ins with punnishment. and the few times i remember getting in the MOST touble was for showing my true colors in public or at someone else's house. i knew the moment i acted out that the day would end badly, but sometimes a girl just has to pitch a little fit when her bulky and unattractive snow boots do not match the frilly pink dress she has planned to sport at sears. and bulky napolean dynamite boots don't just ruin the getting ready process but all other things tied to the day.
back on track, i knew how to act. i knew when i was goofing up. i knew that i better do like i was taught. and i never lived in fear, just a healthy dose of respect. so parents, call up tim and della. ask for tips (ask my dad...you'll never get my mom off the phone). ask how they managed to love their children while also delivering dicipline. better yet call me up and ask how i have faired as an adult in light of knowing that my parents never allowed me to express my creativity by singing loudly in the movie theater. ask how i ever became a productive member of society knowing that my parents never allowed exploration without their consent.
parents, you're in charge. love your kids completely by teaching them how to function while taking direction. love them in a huge way by teaching them to respect themselves and those around them. love them whole heartedly by having honest conversations and addressing the fact that not every activity is positive. and remember, i don't have kids and would rather not share my mellow mushroom pizza with yours.