i vote summer break...

starting now.
it is only after becoming a legit grown-up that i am accutely aware of the fact that i didn't know what i had til it was gone. summer break was a beautiful thing.
i think i should write a bill and send it to congress stating that all full time employees should get summers off. no strings attached. just take a couple of months to prepare for the coming year. pick veggies from a garden. clear your mind. go on vacation. get an icee at weigels every day they are on sale for 69 cents. basically, it would be a perfect situation.
as all the schools finish up the year and all the college students return to their hometowns i am green with envy. i want to waste some time without being judged. i want people to think that i work so hard that it makes sense for me to sleep everyday til noon. i want to go to the pool on my bike with snacks in my backpack and sunscreen caked on my face. i think i basically want to be 12 again. i mean, maybe us moldy oldies have a thing or two to learn from kids...they seem to have this in the bag.
so may you hop in the lake then wait way to long to shower. may you get a uv safe tan. may you rock flip flop feet more often than not. may you sleep with a lightning bug nightlight. and may you call in sick tomorrow...i hear it's supposed to be beautiful.

what the skype?!

so it has recently come to my attention that i am getting old. yep, i creak and pop in the morning, i have to take a pill at breakfast along with my multi-vitamin, i say things to my youth at the church like: "because i said so" and "because i'm the adult and you're the kid."
BUT in the midst of all these things i thought i was still hip. i thought my references were cool. i thought my clothes were "in". and i thought that i looked like i was still in college...early college. well, apparently, i'm wrong. here's how i knew i was delusional...
a couple of weeks ago i was with a bunch of old people at a conference(like 30-40 somethings. remember, two weeks ago i was still delusional). as the conference ended we were encouraged to stay in touch with the people we've met so that we could continue to learn from each other. since this is a national event the suggestion was made that we SKYPE. what?! what's a skype? i'd heard of it, i knew some people did it, i thought it may be trendy...but i don't like to always buy into trends?! am i left out?! does the whole world skype without me?! probably not, but like i was even going to ask the questions to find out!
then it was in my face: i have a vocational mentor who lives in texas. she was at this conference as well. she is over 40 with 2 children. she is like a "grown-up" version of me. while we were actually in the same town we decided to go to lunch. so, while we were sitting, scheduling meetings with one another on our iphones, and browsing the nearest ice cream shop using the places app. she says "so about skype, i don't know how to use it. do you do that?" i freaked out inside. jeenkies, she thought i should know! i hesitated to reply..."i've heard of it..."
what?! i'm like a 40 something with 2 kids! i'm out of the loop! i'm not a technical super wizard! crap. this snuck up on me. attacked me in the night. stupid skype.
it was at this point that we designed a covert operation to learn about skype. i mean then we will at least be in the know. she is going to trick her kids into teaching her. i say i'll google it then right away delete my browsing history. and we both wonder how we got to this point. how could we be iphone talking trend setters who don't know about skype and have to learn in underground classrooms?! wow.
now i know my computer doesn't have a webcam, it's about 25 lbs., and i bought it in college. but, i thought it was still a pretty cool computer. now i know it can't webinar very well (that whole webcam thing is apparently super functional)and it can't download songs with great ease (but like i have plans after 8 pm), and of course there is the skype debacle. however, it can buy a groupon, it can facebook, it can load usa today, and it can blog. i thought that was enough. gosh.
here's to google...thank you for keeping me current. here's to princeton...thank you for pointing out my oversight. here's to iphone...thank you for facetime (no downloads needed) and here's to skype...lame.

really it's not that big a deal...

recently these words ring in my ear as a reminder that this statement is typically a lie. the code for "it's not that big a deal" is this: "it's actually a huge deal, but i don't know what to say or how to handle this...ahhhh."
tricky. all proper southern ladies fall into this minor deal trap. our friends need help...but it's not that big a deal. we have an injury that is throbbing...but it's not that big a deal. we have $100 in bills to pay and ($25) in our bank account...but it's not that big a deal. we're getting married...but it's not that big a deal. WELL, GUESS WHAT, IT IS A BIG DEAL. why can't we admit when something is important, scary, stressful, or in general "a big deal."
if you have dedicated every weekend for months to planning the perfect reception, don't pretend it all fell together after a magical dream in which flower arrangements and playlists appreared like a vision. if you have cut off your pinky, don't pretend it's a paper cut. if you are broke, don't pretend you forgot to deposit your paycheck. for goodness sake, call a spade a spade and deal with it.
take pride (but be careful that you are not totally bragadocious) in your hard work. if someone says "wow, this must have taken an eternity" respond with "thank you, i worked really hard." if you can't pay your bills, don't go out for drinks with friends so that no one will notice. (p.s. a declined debit card will tell on you). if you are hurting, for goodness sake accept the ice pack.
now i know this all sounds like too much to bear. girls who have it together never ask for help. girls who are strong never hurt. girls who look wealthy never back out on dinner. girls never let anyone down. period. well guess what...people can see right through you. do you honestly think the queen of england runs a country all on her own with no help and when asked how she managed to lead through a depression she replies with "oh it's not that big a deal."
so get over yourself. no one thinks you're wonderwoman. no one is coufused when you cover a gaping wound with a barbie band-aid. no one thought that your wedding reception fell out of the heavens in perfect arrangement. for real no one. so ask for help when you need it. admit defeat when you are clearly beaten. graciously accept compliments when you recieve them. and when you suddenly become a more honest, real, and lovely person to be around ...remember this post and thank me for getting in your face. i know you will want to...cause it is a big deal.

when i was your age

often, when i observe the youth i work with i think to myself "that would have never happened when i was your age..." and you know what, a lot of the times i'm right. here are a few specific things that would not have had the opportunity to be a part of my adolescent/teenage life:
sexting
beiber fever
gas strikes
school uniforms
googling
facebook stalking
identity theft
(I could go on for a while)
i think often that i would love to be a teen again, then i think about it agian. some of the things that are common today leave me shocked and appalled. i couldn't hack it as a teenager. there are too many distractions, perils, and connections. i would be in a constant state of sensory overload and most likely would be a terror for my parents.
i'm thankful that i am of a simpler time...a time when:
michael jackson was the undisputed king of pop
bangs were stylish...not the sound a gun makes
vanilla ice did not flip houses
screech was not a porn star
hybrid what?
columbine scared the poop out of everyone
the jetson's was a possibility
malls were all indoors
riding a bike with a helmet was optional (but a good idea)
booster seat graduation happened at 4 y.o.
the heartland series was standard morning programing
the mickey mouse club was cool
mouseketeer britney had no children
m&m's melted in your mouth not in your hands (and they came in 2 flavors only and did not rap)
the list goes on...
i hope you, like me, will enjoy remembering the simplicity of your youth and i also hope you will join the coalition to bring some things back. have family game night, eat dinner together at the table, make up dances to steller MJ tunes, listen to britney's first album, and go a whole night without a text message. you may just enjoy it.

i only want what i can't have...

this is true in all aspects of my life.
i want to work only when i feel like it
i want to have a brand new house that i design completely and decorate to my tastes
i want a range rover (have i ever mentioned i work at a church)
i want to go to Europe and not come back until i feel like it
i want an antique Chris-Craft runabout with a triple cockpit
i want to marry Offficer Fleck from CSI:NY (that could happen)
i only want chick-fil-a on Sunday
needless to say i want ridiculious stuff. there really is no end to the stuff i want. the list could go on and on. the reality is...it ain't happening. not right now at least.
now, don't be confused. this is not a complaint. it is merely an observation on my part. an observation that reminded me that most people want what they don't or can't have. why is that? why do we constantly feel that stuff will validate us and that we'll be happier when we get everything we want?
this is silly. stuff won't make you or me happier. it won't make you or me feel more special or important. all it does is create a new list of more. more to maintain, more to clean, more to pack, more to catch up on, more to pay for, more more more.
it was after i realized that my life would be none the more complete that i decided to quit my bellyaching. i should be glad i don't have tons of clothes...as of now i get dressed quickly. i should be glad i don't have chick-fil-a as a sunday option...my pants would get tighter. i should be glad i'm not married to Officer Fleck...his job is terribly dangerous. (ok that was a stretch.
there is noting wrong with my home...it's jsut right for me. there is nothing wrong with having to go to work everyday...i like the interaction. there is nothing wrong with having less...it just means i have to be more resourceful. plus, if i had everything i ever wanted what would i put on my wish list? and isn't wishing half the fun?
so from now on i am going to start wishing for things that really make a difference. i'm going to stop obsessing over things that are currently out of reach. i'm going to be more appreciative of the tons of blessings i do have. and i'm now going to hope for a tall, dark, and handsome man to worry about all of that on my behalf...sounds perfect.