please sit still

i know this will sound so hateful, but i do not care.
please, parents, demand good behavior of your children. you are in charge (or so i thought).
it is so exhausting to go to dinner (like i just did) and fight to talk to the people at the table with you because a little boy insists on driving his hot wheel car (complete with sound effects) around the back of the booth we share. he was an adorable little boy. but he was rude. now i know that children are impulsive and that they really only know what is right and wrong based on what they have been taught. so, i can only assume that his parents had not told him that it is inappropriate to drive your hot wheels truck on a strangers seat. and even more i can only assume that he does not know that to eat your dinner you have to be facing your table. and even more than that i can only assume that his parents were not taught these things either seeing as how they were unalarmed by this display of disruptive behavior.
now i'm not trying to be a scrooge. i love children. i work with and for children. i want to see kids grow and learn and flourish. however, just because i love kids and work with them does not mean that i am capable of brushing off bad behavior as a phase, exploration, or creativity. these excuses are just that, excuses. and specifically they are excuses that parents make for failing to control their offspring and that is not the offsprings fault. i'll explain.
in my house, as a kid, i believed in my heart that my mom and dad were in charge. i believed that if i acted a fool then i would have to answer for that behavior and it could only end badly for me. i also believed that i better be good or santa would withold gifts. (fair threat...i was a saint for most of november and december without fail). now, i must add, my parents did not practice the art of spanking. a swat on the hand was about the bulk of physical touble. that said, i still behaved. not 100% of the time, but enough that i typically avoided run-ins with punnishment. and the few times i remember getting in the MOST touble was for showing my true colors in public or at someone else's house. i knew the moment i acted out that the day would end badly, but sometimes a girl just has to pitch a little fit when her bulky and unattractive snow boots do not match the frilly pink dress she has planned to sport at sears. and bulky napolean dynamite boots don't just ruin the getting ready process but all other things tied to the day.
back on track, i knew how to act. i knew when i was goofing up. i knew that i better do like i was taught. and i never lived in fear, just a healthy dose of respect. so parents, call up tim and della. ask for tips (ask my dad...you'll never get my mom off the phone). ask how they managed to love their children while also delivering dicipline. better yet call me up and ask how i have faired as an adult in light of knowing that my parents never allowed me to express my creativity by singing loudly in the movie theater. ask how i ever became a productive member of society knowing that my parents never allowed exploration without their consent.
parents, you're in charge. love your kids completely by teaching them how to function while taking direction. love them in a huge way by teaching them to respect themselves and those around them. love them whole heartedly by having honest conversations and addressing the fact that not every activity is positive. and remember, i don't have kids and would rather not share my mellow mushroom pizza with yours.