and what have you done this year?

it's that time of year again. time to haul out the holly, deck the halls, trim the tree, and blissfully enter into a winter wonderland. yes, you guessed it...it's christmas!
now this christmas i was tempted to put out a nativity scene, place a symbolic star on top of my martin luther inspired tree, and attend a candlelight service on christmas eve with my friends and family, BUT why bother with all that jazz when i could be piecing together my CHRISTMAS NEWSLETTER!
yes friends, the newsletter. that most important of christmas symbols. the glorious piece of paper that accompanies my festive cards and allows me an outlet for sharing all the reasons i'm cooler than you. since it is so terribly important i thought it would just be selfish of me to not share my year with all my blogging buddies. i hope you enjoy reading about my year as much as i enjoyed actually participating in it.
**please read the following anticipating my voice inflection...it will be more fun that way! and also please read with the lens of a girl who thinks this entire practice is nothing more than a platform for bragging and embellishing. i have always believed that a life worth knowing about need not advertise.**



THE PIERCE PAGES
A SEASONAL NEWSLETTER FROM THE HEART OF MY HOME TO YOURS!

2011 has been a whirlwind of a year! where has the time gone?! haha but seriously, it seems like only yesterday i was unpacking boxes in my brand new home and trying to find the perfect duvet to compliment my beautiful estate sale furniture! yes, home ownership has consumed most of my year and has directly correlated to my increased number of visits to bed, bath, and beyond!
all that aside 2011, has been a year full of blessings! one blessing is the crazy increase in miles that my frequent flyer program has seen. i have been a real jet setter! when i wasn't enjoying theology classes at Princeton Theological Seminary i made time for delicious cheesecake in New York! my sweet friend katie accompanied me in the big apple and boy did we leave our southern mark! my next adventure sent me, katie, and my dad packing for Boston! who doesn't love a Red Sox game at Fenway! really the green monster (or green monstah as the natives say) is second to none. it was just a little short trip at the end of the summer. we all needed a little baseball escape! the next trip will take katie, terri, and i to Charleston over new years to see our dear friend susan. we couldn't think of a better way to ring in the new year.
now not all my travels were for pleasure. my sweet youth girls and i had a weekend retreat to Asheville. the Biltmore is so amazing...we were like princesses for a day! i also spent two weeks doing mission work for those less fortunate. one trip took my group to Hazard, KY where we did some serious home repair and the next trip took us to Myrtle Beach where we were instrumental in starting a new church. what an amazing experience. God is good!
now, you didn't think this east tennessee gal would spend all her time away! of course i had to be home for football season! this year my vols broke my heart a little, but that didn't mean we couldn't still enjoy all the tradition of big orange football. the vol navy was out in force and the time on the water is totally worth the work it takes climbing from boat to boat. the hot dogs were perfect and coach dooley's pants were just right.
on a not so positive note my poor hip and back have been in a mess. i think that mission work and all that time on the tennessee river have caused some injury. so physical therapy is the name of the game and the outlook is good! (i hope)
in other news, i've bought a new car, a couple of new Kate Spade bags (to die for), and of course clothes that still have the tags!! it's so hard to pass up a great sale! haha
last but not least, ellie may (i know you were wondering), is doing beautifully. she is still the most impressive K9 i have ever encountered. i am concerned that she may have a faulty thyroid, but that is completely treatable. she has her stocking hung by the chimney with care and i know she is dreaming of all the dentasticks that will fill it up on christmas morning.
well, i have already said too much. this letter always gets away from me! so, until i have a chance to share with you how important i am next year--i hope you and yours have a completely MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!
all my love, Sara

you say you are a parent?

just earlier today i encountered one of the single most disturbing fashion concepts ever. now brace yourself...squeaky shoes. yes, that's right, shoes that squeak on purpose. now this sounds far fetched, but i assure you this was a legit shoe. who, you ask, would wear such a shoe? a three year old little girl is the answer you are seeking, and when you hear why i hope that you (like i was) will be appalled.
now, my first thought was "get that sweet little girl some new tennis shoes!" (as it was clear to me that the bubble in the heel of her nike air max was busted) however, when i exclaimed "oh my that's a loud little sneaker?!" i was told, i know they're supposed to be like that. "WHY??!!" i asked. the response, so she doesn't get lost.
now time out here. so she doesn't get lost? because your 3 year old is often on perilous adventures which could render her lost in the woods, or lost at sea, or lost in kroger which would then render you helpless because she was exploring alone without parental supervision???
really, is that the reason? no, not possible.
so after nearly having a mini-stroke in public i felt compelled to step up onto this soapbox:
i am not a parent, most of my friends are not parents, i am rarely with small children, but i am a living breathing human being with common sense and that alone affords me the right to weigh in on this victory of parenting. or rather, this lack of authority possessed my many parents.
when i was little i stayed with my parents in all situations. how did i know to do so?? because, a. i did what i was told and b. if i didn't there would have been consequences (and i was not interested in that at all). i imagine that there would have been a swat on the rear. there would have been a toy taken away. i would have heard the stern voice that my dad used when he was really mad (which tended to be far worse than any punishment he could have dreamed up). the long and short of this story is that i wasn't given the option to roam freely. i wasn't in charge of making the decisions at my house, and i didn't dispute that fact.
now i am not saying that my parents were superior to other parents...they were just superior to the ones who couldn't seem to remember where their children were. and i feel sure that my parents didn't ride the extreme wave of the helicopter parent. rather, they were just "around."
these stinking squeaky shoes irritated the pee out of me not because the kid was running around making more noise than a tickle me elmo, but simply because of what it says about the thought process of many parents. I simply can't understand the extreme lack of parental instinct. people who are intelligent, well-rounded, and travelled are running around with squeaky shoe kid for the simple reason that "watching" her would be too difficult and taxing. this 3 year old has a built in alarm because it would be too time consuming to hold her hand. she has shoes that sound like dog toys because her parents can't trust themselves to remember she exists. she is forced to annoy not only herself, but also everyone around her, so her parents can multi-task. sad.
so i make a plea to parents. please step up and be responsible for your children. please make your kids a high priority. please do not tempt them to run away from you to find greener pastures. and please please please make the decision when you are making a baby (or before) to love them so much that you wouldn't dream of losing them like your high school ring or the mystery dryer sock. this is not much to ask and i assure you it is not hard. you find your car keys and the remote without having to install a beeping tracking device... and last time i checked the kids are much bigger.
so, here's to parents, you have a tough job. here's to the parents who would love a nap but can't because your kid is on the swing set with the neighbor kid. here's to the parents who returned the baby leash they received at the shower because it just looks silly. here's to the parents who sleep with one eye open in case the boogy man shows up in the middle of the night. and here's to the parents who buy their kids plain jane quiet shoes...you may not hear them but you would never forget they are there.

yes, i would love to hold

i feel like some days i spend the better part of my in office hours holding my phone to my face...not actually talking...but rather listening to the smooth sounds of the hold button. which to be quiet honest, gets on my nerves. when did we decide as a society that we would accept a 15 minute hold? when did we decide that it was ok to schedule 30 minutes of time to have a 30 second conversation? and better yet, when did we decide that other people were so unimportant that we show no remorse for stealing valuable minutes of their life so that we can fiddle fart around and warm up to the idea of picking up the phone and listening to their concern? clearly, i do not find this amusing.
i recently made 4 different phone calls to talk to one person who then told me they were not really sure who i should talk to. mind you, these 4 calls took nearly 8 hours. with each call i repeated the same pattern: dial, listen to menu, choose a department, wait in line once i was transferred to the department, say hello to someone i don't understand, share my concern, hear a long pause, then be told i was not calling the right place. (repeat times 4...however, the 4th try ends with 'well i don't know who handles that.')
is it my imagination or did i at one part in my life make a phone call, talk to a human who was sincerely helpful, hold for 1 minute in the event that that human needed to transfer me to another human, resolve an issue, hang up? i feel in my heart that this used to happen. and you know what, it was wonderful. i used to think that people cared about other individuals, that people listened to concerns, and that people cared enough about their jobs that they wanted to do it to the best of their ability.
now i know that there are a few phone warriors out there who take their jobs seriously and work hard to make people happy. i know this, i just don't know them personally. so for now i reckon i will continue to hold. continue to stew. and continue to share my concerns over and over and over until someone hears my southern english and responds in kind.

champagne taste and a beer budget

my sweet dad, for the better part of my life, has supported me. i don't just mean emotionally but also financially. he paid for me to be a kid, swim on the swim team, go to about 100 formals before i graduated, drive the suv i wanted, wear the clothes that were cool, live off campus in college, support the staff at spankies, be in a sorority, travel on spring break, have the first smartphone, and the list goes on and on. i never really knew what a big deal all his spending was until suddenly, without warning, i became an adult. and not just any adult, but a single adult working for a church and living on my own earnings. aka...i got poor.
now please do not misunderstand me. this lifestyle that i deem "poor" is strictly as compared to the pretty cushy lifestyle i had before. the lifestyle which i had become accustomed. and the lifestyle that stopped so abruptly (after the 6 month adjustment period my dad granted me).
i was under the impression that when i graduated from grad school i would be a millionare. i would work 9 to 5, buy a house, go out with my friends, travel at will, and spend my funds only at the kate spade store. i thought i would be sittin in high cotton. i mean i had "lived" on the pay of a part-time youth intern and graduate assistant for years. i would be rollin in the dough now! wrong. i failed to caculate the money that trickled down from dear old dad...and well...i suddenly missed it.
now my life is nice. i have beautiful, fun, amazing friends, a great job, cozy house, nice car, and a couple of kate spade items that i love. not bad at all. the gripe is that no one really prepared me for paying my own iphone bill, or spending a small fortune at kroger just for milk and bread, or paying a natural gas bill even in the summer when my firepalce is not on, or paying a water bill for one that rivals a small family (i refuse to cut back my shower time. plus i have long hair). my parents taught me financial responsibility...they just didn't teach me that once i was on my own it would be a lot harder. they're so glass half full.
so for now i guess i will have to live with less than frequent shopping trips. i guess i will have to live with generic vitamins. i guess i will have to read paperback books rather than e-books on my ipad. and i guess for now i will have to fondly remember the days when it was deemed appropriate to charge dinner to my credit card as a mental health emergency. and remember fondly when manicures and pedicures were a staple activity every other friday. and i'll have to remember fondly the days when coupon clipping never crossed my mind. and i'll just have to be glad that i had it good...for a little whilie.

the good, the bad, and the bald.

so in light of all the recent "in my faceness" that the world of relationships has provided me i have decided to weigh in on the subject.
i have noticed that there are 3 types of men that seem to always take up space in my atmosphere, the good, the bad and the bald. now yes, some men are more than one of these things. for example, i recently had an encounter with a guy who seemed good, was really bad, and totally bald. he was a rare bird...one i was sure was met with extinction by the age of 30. not this joker. rare. now i also know someone who is good and bald. he's not such a rarity. most 30-something dads are good (out of necessity) and bald is often an unfortunate by-product. but all the same he fits the type. i have also recently exchanged words with a just pain good male. nice, attractive, fairly hip, and unthreatning. likewise i have also met bad...every female knows this clown. they make bee lines for all breathing women in public places. often they are wearing graphis tees and sporting a fedora. now good and bad is a combo that i think is a true myth. can you really be an even mixture of good and bad...no way. everyone leans one way or the other. so any male who advertises himself as a good 'bad' boy is instantly on my lidar. these cats are a mystery and really best left untouched...they may not be up-to-date on their shots.
so now that i have described the types i will share why this alarms me so. ready, here goes. none of them are dateable dudes. the good ones are typically taken (by females who leave little to be desired). the bad ones are trainwrecks and really no upper 20s female needs a project THAT consuming. i mean, it even requires wardrobe transitions...not cool. the bad and bald have 2 instant strikes. they bring a crap game to the plate and any girl with even a shread of integrity will strike this guy out before he even snags a number. the good and bald are wonderful to know and are totally pre-occupied, but maintain these friendships because one day they and thier families will be who you go to chuck-e-cheese with on friday nights. and the good 'bad' guys...again, liars.
after breaking down the subjects that i tend encounter i realized that i am single out of necessity. i am solo for the sake of dodging embarassment. and i am buying plane tickets for 1 because there are currently no valid travel partner options.
so here's to all the other gals who attract hot messes. here's to the girls who go home on friday nights thinking "i shaved my legs for that?" and here's to the ladies who are single because an acceptable alternative seems to also be hiding out in his house DVR-ing the same episodes of the big bang theory in an effort to skip all the uncomfortable rituals of mating.

why, thank you, i needed that...

so i know that a proper lady sends thank you cards. i have ranted about the lack of proper ladies lately. i know that you don't look a gift horse in the mouth. i know that you fake love the ugly socks in your stocking. i know this cause i was raised right. but i've always wondered if there was a limit to how much faking you could do when the gift was just so shocking that your brain didn't have time to fake and could only go "good golly what the poo?"
this happened to me recently. i got a box of books delivered to me at work. used books that an older man's daughter had used but no longer needed. books he thought he would pass along to me just in case i could use them...for the youth or something. upon closer inspection of the items i wondered...were these really intended for my 14 year olds??

now, like i said, i know how to respond to any gift. people bring me old food, notepads and pens they've stolen from doctor's offices, rocks, socks, and coin purses. for real, work in a church and you too can be showered with gifts from the elderly. but, never in all of my days have i gotten books about how to land a man. this is for sure the best gift i've ever gotten because by george not only is it thoughtful...it's so useful!
i have often wondered why people assume that i would never choose my single life. people seem to think that it must be the result of something bad i've done in a previous life, or that i am secretly a nun, or that i have such low self-esteem that i couldn't possibly be in a productive relationship. well, folks, let me address these completely logical trains of thought.
1. i like being single.
now, do i intend to be single sara forever, no. but, right now it works and i don't intend to force a change.
2. i don't believe in past lives...thus i can not possibly be punnished for one.
3. i think i am pretty freaking great. i am smart, employeed, clean, crafty, financially stable, a wee bit witty, and juggling all these sweet traits with a non-offensive demeanor. i call that winning...not death by solitude.
4. i do like nuns a lot. i do not intend to be one. the shoes are terrible.
so all that said i would like to say that while the books were so terribly kind (i know it would make my life easier if i had a big strong man around the house to kill bugs, open jars, and reach the top shelf) please do not assume a fundamental part of my life is missing because i am able to manage perfectly with a one car garage. please do not assume that i am broken hearted and sad because i have to rsvp 1 to special events. please do not be nervous on my behalf that my biological clock may explode before i ever start trying to make babies. please don't worry about my house being invaded by woman eating insects, i pay a bug guy. and please, know that i can open my own jars...i have a gripper thing that has never let me down.
so here's to the single ladies who fight off set-ups like it's their full-time job. here's to the single ladies who mow their own yards (i don't but i know some of you do). here's to the single ladies who have managed to find meaning in their pitiful, lonely, unnatural lives. and here's to all the people who think we would give our right arm to change it all...oops. you're bad.

yeah, but are you friends on facebook?

at what point in time did i morph into this alternate universe in which relationships are defined not by legitimate personal connections, but rather by your social networking status? seriously, when? i can't even believe that i have conversations that include the question "are you friends on facebook?" or "does he/she have an open profile?" or "can you see their pictures?" however, on a regular basis, i have detailed and important conversations about the connections and interests i share with people in a vast virtual universe--some of whom i have only spoken to once or twice in real life. for real, it boggles my mind.
this became a glaring concern as i recently made huge decisions based on information i gained via "online investigative reporting" (as i like to call it). i literally dove into drawn out discussions and subsequently oversized decisions based on the possibility of potentially inapproppriate cyber activity. i was actually alarmed enough by a facebook incident that it altered the way i behaved in the world of 3D. i must be crazy, right?
well, actually, the craziest part is that i'm not crazy at all! i'm actually in the majority (if everyone would honestly admit to their behavior).
i never imagined a time when my e-mail, facebook, twitter, and google chat etiquitte would be more telling about my personality than my actual face to face interactions with a live audience. i never imagined a time when i would update my status so regularly that it seemed only natural to tell hundreds of my closest friends that my hair dryer caught on fire. i never imagined a time when i would check out a profile much the way i would read an old fashioned paper resume to determine someone's "value." i mean, whoa, is this real life? and if it is...it's alarming.
now, normally, i blog about other people's behavior. normally, i point out how normal i am and how messed up other people are. well, today is no different. i am again floating in a sea of normal...however, every other crazy person i know gets to hop in their innertube of insanity and float along beside me as my "friend." maybe that is the beauty of this all?! it has messed us all up to such an extreme that maybe, just maybe, we're even. maybe.
so here's to you, facebook stalker, you know where your ex-boyfriend checked-in and who he was with at 9 am on a tuesday (and 1 am on a saturday) and now you can rest easy. here's to you, crazy guy, who has your friends add the girl you are crushing on so that when you view her profile together you will be able to come to some real solid decisions about her hair, make-up, wardrobe, and maternal instincts. here's to you, constant status updater, because you know, deep down, that other people do want to see a hundred funny pictures of your cat (and/or kids). and here's to me...cause if i have really become like all these other loons... i'll need a big ole glass of crazy with a twist just to keep up.

we don't do that here.

i love gatherings. i plan parties for fun. i buy dresses (on sale of course) just in case something comes up. i love it. coco chanel said once that "some girls were born with glitter in their veins" and i like to think that i am one of them. life is more fun when it sparkles.
that said, i can also be a big bucket of no fun if i want to be. another lovely lady i try to be at least a wee bit like is emily post, who said "etiquette is the science of living." she is right. there is a lot to be said for a glittery and gracious gal. i (naturally) am a fine example--if i do say so myself (kidding. gracious and braggadocious do not go hand in hand--i am aware).
anyway, why bother caring about being fun and sensible? why bother party planning and thank you note sending? why care what other people think of your behavior?
well, i'll tell you why, because if you don't you will spend quality time looking like a giant boob in front of your friends. because if you throw great parties and then act a fool people won't come back. because if you can't dress yourself appropriately for the town gala then you will be "that girl" for an undisclosed period of time.
regardless of how laid back my generation is or how open we are...we are crazy judgemental. case and point...this blog. people may say that they are super chill and super fun loving, but no one wants to look like a loser. no one wants to throw a shower and then not get invited to the event. no one wants to go to a wedding and then stand the whole ceremony because you decided to cheap out on seating. no one wants to drive to your birthday dinner and then find out no one bothered to make reservations for a party of 30 in advance. i mean let's be real...we expect things and when the expectations are not met...we tell everyone we know that your butt looked huge, the venue smelled like feet, the food was cold, and the drinks were (ugh) well. (none of which are compliments)
i have gone to weddings, taken gifts, driven across the state, and never received a thank you note. i have attended funerals in which an immediate family member showed up in a yellow leisure suit (this is to scary to be a lie). i have gone to fundraisers and watched people stumble around and lose a part of their anatomy from the top of their far to low cut dress. i have gone to weddings and watched people sneak out full bottles of wine from the bar, in turn, running up the bride's families tab. i have been to parties where the host didn't show up on time. for real.
i know what you are thinking...who the crap are your friends? the answer to that is, the people pointing and laughing at your attention grabbing but not so chanel fabulous behavior. all from our safe table of judgement, glitter, and poise...of course.
so here's to the people who think they are owed your presence and feel no need to thank you for your kindness. here's to the town drunks who may honestly not give a rip that they look a fool. here's to the party planners without a plan. and here's to me, who knows we don't do that here.

i vote summer break...

starting now.
it is only after becoming a legit grown-up that i am accutely aware of the fact that i didn't know what i had til it was gone. summer break was a beautiful thing.
i think i should write a bill and send it to congress stating that all full time employees should get summers off. no strings attached. just take a couple of months to prepare for the coming year. pick veggies from a garden. clear your mind. go on vacation. get an icee at weigels every day they are on sale for 69 cents. basically, it would be a perfect situation.
as all the schools finish up the year and all the college students return to their hometowns i am green with envy. i want to waste some time without being judged. i want people to think that i work so hard that it makes sense for me to sleep everyday til noon. i want to go to the pool on my bike with snacks in my backpack and sunscreen caked on my face. i think i basically want to be 12 again. i mean, maybe us moldy oldies have a thing or two to learn from kids...they seem to have this in the bag.
so may you hop in the lake then wait way to long to shower. may you get a uv safe tan. may you rock flip flop feet more often than not. may you sleep with a lightning bug nightlight. and may you call in sick tomorrow...i hear it's supposed to be beautiful.

what the skype?!

so it has recently come to my attention that i am getting old. yep, i creak and pop in the morning, i have to take a pill at breakfast along with my multi-vitamin, i say things to my youth at the church like: "because i said so" and "because i'm the adult and you're the kid."
BUT in the midst of all these things i thought i was still hip. i thought my references were cool. i thought my clothes were "in". and i thought that i looked like i was still in college...early college. well, apparently, i'm wrong. here's how i knew i was delusional...
a couple of weeks ago i was with a bunch of old people at a conference(like 30-40 somethings. remember, two weeks ago i was still delusional). as the conference ended we were encouraged to stay in touch with the people we've met so that we could continue to learn from each other. since this is a national event the suggestion was made that we SKYPE. what?! what's a skype? i'd heard of it, i knew some people did it, i thought it may be trendy...but i don't like to always buy into trends?! am i left out?! does the whole world skype without me?! probably not, but like i was even going to ask the questions to find out!
then it was in my face: i have a vocational mentor who lives in texas. she was at this conference as well. she is over 40 with 2 children. she is like a "grown-up" version of me. while we were actually in the same town we decided to go to lunch. so, while we were sitting, scheduling meetings with one another on our iphones, and browsing the nearest ice cream shop using the places app. she says "so about skype, i don't know how to use it. do you do that?" i freaked out inside. jeenkies, she thought i should know! i hesitated to reply..."i've heard of it..."
what?! i'm like a 40 something with 2 kids! i'm out of the loop! i'm not a technical super wizard! crap. this snuck up on me. attacked me in the night. stupid skype.
it was at this point that we designed a covert operation to learn about skype. i mean then we will at least be in the know. she is going to trick her kids into teaching her. i say i'll google it then right away delete my browsing history. and we both wonder how we got to this point. how could we be iphone talking trend setters who don't know about skype and have to learn in underground classrooms?! wow.
now i know my computer doesn't have a webcam, it's about 25 lbs., and i bought it in college. but, i thought it was still a pretty cool computer. now i know it can't webinar very well (that whole webcam thing is apparently super functional)and it can't download songs with great ease (but like i have plans after 8 pm), and of course there is the skype debacle. however, it can buy a groupon, it can facebook, it can load usa today, and it can blog. i thought that was enough. gosh.
here's to google...thank you for keeping me current. here's to princeton...thank you for pointing out my oversight. here's to iphone...thank you for facetime (no downloads needed) and here's to skype...lame.

really it's not that big a deal...

recently these words ring in my ear as a reminder that this statement is typically a lie. the code for "it's not that big a deal" is this: "it's actually a huge deal, but i don't know what to say or how to handle this...ahhhh."
tricky. all proper southern ladies fall into this minor deal trap. our friends need help...but it's not that big a deal. we have an injury that is throbbing...but it's not that big a deal. we have $100 in bills to pay and ($25) in our bank account...but it's not that big a deal. we're getting married...but it's not that big a deal. WELL, GUESS WHAT, IT IS A BIG DEAL. why can't we admit when something is important, scary, stressful, or in general "a big deal."
if you have dedicated every weekend for months to planning the perfect reception, don't pretend it all fell together after a magical dream in which flower arrangements and playlists appreared like a vision. if you have cut off your pinky, don't pretend it's a paper cut. if you are broke, don't pretend you forgot to deposit your paycheck. for goodness sake, call a spade a spade and deal with it.
take pride (but be careful that you are not totally bragadocious) in your hard work. if someone says "wow, this must have taken an eternity" respond with "thank you, i worked really hard." if you can't pay your bills, don't go out for drinks with friends so that no one will notice. (p.s. a declined debit card will tell on you). if you are hurting, for goodness sake accept the ice pack.
now i know this all sounds like too much to bear. girls who have it together never ask for help. girls who are strong never hurt. girls who look wealthy never back out on dinner. girls never let anyone down. period. well guess what...people can see right through you. do you honestly think the queen of england runs a country all on her own with no help and when asked how she managed to lead through a depression she replies with "oh it's not that big a deal."
so get over yourself. no one thinks you're wonderwoman. no one is coufused when you cover a gaping wound with a barbie band-aid. no one thought that your wedding reception fell out of the heavens in perfect arrangement. for real no one. so ask for help when you need it. admit defeat when you are clearly beaten. graciously accept compliments when you recieve them. and when you suddenly become a more honest, real, and lovely person to be around ...remember this post and thank me for getting in your face. i know you will want to...cause it is a big deal.

when i was your age

often, when i observe the youth i work with i think to myself "that would have never happened when i was your age..." and you know what, a lot of the times i'm right. here are a few specific things that would not have had the opportunity to be a part of my adolescent/teenage life:
sexting
beiber fever
gas strikes
school uniforms
googling
facebook stalking
identity theft
(I could go on for a while)
i think often that i would love to be a teen again, then i think about it agian. some of the things that are common today leave me shocked and appalled. i couldn't hack it as a teenager. there are too many distractions, perils, and connections. i would be in a constant state of sensory overload and most likely would be a terror for my parents.
i'm thankful that i am of a simpler time...a time when:
michael jackson was the undisputed king of pop
bangs were stylish...not the sound a gun makes
vanilla ice did not flip houses
screech was not a porn star
hybrid what?
columbine scared the poop out of everyone
the jetson's was a possibility
malls were all indoors
riding a bike with a helmet was optional (but a good idea)
booster seat graduation happened at 4 y.o.
the heartland series was standard morning programing
the mickey mouse club was cool
mouseketeer britney had no children
m&m's melted in your mouth not in your hands (and they came in 2 flavors only and did not rap)
the list goes on...
i hope you, like me, will enjoy remembering the simplicity of your youth and i also hope you will join the coalition to bring some things back. have family game night, eat dinner together at the table, make up dances to steller MJ tunes, listen to britney's first album, and go a whole night without a text message. you may just enjoy it.

i only want what i can't have...

this is true in all aspects of my life.
i want to work only when i feel like it
i want to have a brand new house that i design completely and decorate to my tastes
i want a range rover (have i ever mentioned i work at a church)
i want to go to Europe and not come back until i feel like it
i want an antique Chris-Craft runabout with a triple cockpit
i want to marry Offficer Fleck from CSI:NY (that could happen)
i only want chick-fil-a on Sunday
needless to say i want ridiculious stuff. there really is no end to the stuff i want. the list could go on and on. the reality is...it ain't happening. not right now at least.
now, don't be confused. this is not a complaint. it is merely an observation on my part. an observation that reminded me that most people want what they don't or can't have. why is that? why do we constantly feel that stuff will validate us and that we'll be happier when we get everything we want?
this is silly. stuff won't make you or me happier. it won't make you or me feel more special or important. all it does is create a new list of more. more to maintain, more to clean, more to pack, more to catch up on, more to pay for, more more more.
it was after i realized that my life would be none the more complete that i decided to quit my bellyaching. i should be glad i don't have tons of clothes...as of now i get dressed quickly. i should be glad i don't have chick-fil-a as a sunday option...my pants would get tighter. i should be glad i'm not married to Officer Fleck...his job is terribly dangerous. (ok that was a stretch.
there is noting wrong with my home...it's jsut right for me. there is nothing wrong with having to go to work everyday...i like the interaction. there is nothing wrong with having less...it just means i have to be more resourceful. plus, if i had everything i ever wanted what would i put on my wish list? and isn't wishing half the fun?
so from now on i am going to start wishing for things that really make a difference. i'm going to stop obsessing over things that are currently out of reach. i'm going to be more appreciative of the tons of blessings i do have. and i'm now going to hope for a tall, dark, and handsome man to worry about all of that on my behalf...sounds perfect.

hi ho hi ho it's off to blog i go

whistle whistle hum hum hanging out with dwarfs. (i sang that intro in case you are wondering. i know you were.)
so why sing a modified disney song when i should have better things to do? welp, honestly, because my mind is so consumed with this current thought that working for real would be unproductive. here's the thought...why in the world does any one person, family, organization, or animal need more than one or maybe two blogs?! like for real, what do you possibly have going on in your life that you need 3 or more platforms on which to share your story?! AND do you think that anyone else who lives and operates in the real world has time to read all your tidbits?! sheesh.
currently any one person, place, group, or thing can share the rather intimate and immediate details of everyday life on about 1 gatrillion forms of social networking sites. you can update your facebook status, you can tweet your peeps, you can sell yourself on linkdin, you can text those you like the most, you can be a loser and participate in the myspace community, and you can blog a little ditty. well, i think that if you are doing all of the above (or even most of the above) you're lame. i say that with all sincerity and no apologies.
i recently came across a blogger with 4 or more current blogs. that's right slackers, 4+. (and your one blog is 6 weeks outdated, loser) but back on topic, 4+ blogs. 4 different ways to share the personal details of their everyday life...which i will add is not that unusual or thrilling. now i know someone is reading this and calling me a "nice" name, but oh well. i can't help but feel that when you are blogging at least 4 times per day you have lost sight of what is really important. things like: taking a walk, curling your eyelashes, dusting the high shelves, going to work (haha right), practicing your curve ball, or taking time to treasure up moments in your heart. novel idea i know. and this is just one observation about one platform. do you honeslty think that a cumpulsive blogger would avoid other social media? not a chance.
when did our lives become a spectacle for the public? when did we become so self-centered and needy as a society that we prompt other people to read and comment about us in order to feel special?! and most importantly, why would you whore out your family, friends, and activities for other peoples entertainment?!
now, i know, pot calling the kettle black (here i am blogging about blogging). but NOPE, you're wrong about me. i try hard to keep my private life private. i try hard keep my relationships meaningful and personal. and i strive to remember that my life is only as valuable as the lives that i am moving in and among. my actions need no flashing light and i need not be paid for doing the things that i love and choose. (strike that...i love and chose work and i would prefer they continue to pay me.) basically, what i'm saying is, i enjoy just being here. actually, i love it so much that i seldom have time to blog about how cool or busy i am, because i'm too busy actually being cool.
so, bloggers, may you concentrate your thoughts. may you cherish the little moments quietly in your heart. may you know that you are not deserving of special attention. and may you get a job, a hobby, or a journal in order to stop creating a virtural spectacle of yourself.