do these heels make me look intimidating?

Katharine Hepburn once said "it is the plain women who know about love; the beautiful women are too busy being fascinating." i have to say, Katharine, i agree with you. i also have to say that i identify with the latter woman (the fascinating kind).
now i have never been accused of lacking confidence, opinions, or intelligence. as a matter of fact i believe in my heart that i am stocked up on all three of those qualities. that sounds like a good thing i know, but i am learning that fascinating is not always appealing. which, in my professional opinion, is a modern day tragedy.
i have a dear friend who i believe is similar to me in so many ways. i actually have a few dear friends who i consider like-minded. and i must say, that while i consider us each to be the total package, apparently we all have a fundamental flaw that is leaving us at the singles table at every wedding reception. it is also causing us to be replaced by less accomplished, more needy, and completely boring females.
now i have thought long and hard about what this flaw could possibly be and i have determined (after careful consideration) that it does not exist. it is a myth established by the authors of dating books to make us think that we need to amend who we are in order to be a marketable human being. i am here to say that is complete crap. i should never have to hear that i am sporting a defect. i should not pay $16.99 to read and that as soon as i get a total body, mind, and soul makeover i will be a 10. it is a scam and it is creating a generation of women who are worried about being professional, powerful, smart, and funny. if there is a flaw in this train of thinking it does not exist in us. it is a flaw found in others. others who are simple, unimpressive, sometimes rather handsome, and plain ole intimidated.
why is it bad to be a successful female capable of maintaining her own finances, dwelling, appearance, and mind? why is it bad to have a good job, be a good friend, and go great places? why would anyone be off-put by someone who does not need to be "tended?" why would anyone avoid someone who wants nothing more than to share her positive situation with you?
if you can answer any of these questions than i assume you are aligned with the enemy forces and your answer will be deemed outrageous and invalid. because, honestly, it doesn't make any sense to dodge people who are "together."
as females we are taught to be graceful, polite, fun, witty, and mild. but, in my house we were also taught to be self-sufficient, smart, well-rounded, and driven. i was taught that a smart girl is a pretty girl and that a pretty girl is fascinating. i want so badly to believe that i was taught correctly, but i seem to (more often than not) encounter people who were taught something so completely different. as a result i am often not invited to the ball and labeled sassy, intense, and harsh. which (lucky for me) i'm too shallow to stay bummed for too long. in my world, however, these descriptive words are simply synonyms for quick-witted, focused, and direct. none of which are bad things and we cherish these qualities my male counterparts.
so here's to all the gals who sit at the fundraiser dinners with their co-workers and make solid business transactions at the drink table. here's to the girls who wear heels everyday because we know that height is directly related to success and income. here's to the ladies who always open invitations addressed to ________ and guest. here's to the females who check emails and bank accounts on their iPhones. here's to the to all of us who understand how to be polite and firm. and here's to our dad's...may you know that even though we have not provided grandchildren yet, we will never need to move back into your house to get on our feet...we're good.

the good, the bad, and the bald.

so in light of all the recent "in my faceness" that the world of relationships has provided me i have decided to weigh in on the subject.
i have noticed that there are 3 types of men that seem to always take up space in my atmosphere, the good, the bad and the bald. now yes, some men are more than one of these things. for example, i recently had an encounter with a guy who seemed good, was really bad, and totally bald. he was a rare bird...one i was sure was met with extinction by the age of 30. not this joker. rare. now i also know someone who is good and bald. he's not such a rarity. most 30-something dads are good (out of necessity) and bald is often an unfortunate by-product. but all the same he fits the type. i have also recently exchanged words with a just pain good male. nice, attractive, fairly hip, and unthreatning. likewise i have also met bad...every female knows this clown. they make bee lines for all breathing women in public places. often they are wearing graphis tees and sporting a fedora. now good and bad is a combo that i think is a true myth. can you really be an even mixture of good and bad...no way. everyone leans one way or the other. so any male who advertises himself as a good 'bad' boy is instantly on my lidar. these cats are a mystery and really best left untouched...they may not be up-to-date on their shots.
so now that i have described the types i will share why this alarms me so. ready, here goes. none of them are dateable dudes. the good ones are typically taken (by females who leave little to be desired). the bad ones are trainwrecks and really no upper 20s female needs a project THAT consuming. i mean, it even requires wardrobe transitions...not cool. the bad and bald have 2 instant strikes. they bring a crap game to the plate and any girl with even a shread of integrity will strike this guy out before he even snags a number. the good and bald are wonderful to know and are totally pre-occupied, but maintain these friendships because one day they and thier families will be who you go to chuck-e-cheese with on friday nights. and the good 'bad' guys...again, liars.
after breaking down the subjects that i tend encounter i realized that i am single out of necessity. i am solo for the sake of dodging embarassment. and i am buying plane tickets for 1 because there are currently no valid travel partner options.
so here's to all the other gals who attract hot messes. here's to the girls who go home on friday nights thinking "i shaved my legs for that?" and here's to the ladies who are single because an acceptable alternative seems to also be hiding out in his house DVR-ing the same episodes of the big bang theory in an effort to skip all the uncomfortable rituals of mating.